At the same time, I love my students. I’ve seen so much progress and I’ve developed such rich relationships with them. A random student came in to my class today and started trolling me about the Flyers loss. One of my 6th graders asked a question basically about translanguaging. I explained it to them with an example sentence (Je vais to la escuela), and they lit up (especially my Spanish-speaking kids)! In the past, I’ve told my Filipino Tagalog-speaking students can use their language in taking notes, and they were so excited. We’ve had discussions about race and racism in talking about the coronavirus, and the kids with the loudest voices have some of the best takes.
Teaching is traumatizing. The weight of everything has given me anxiety that has me crawling out of my skin before I have to go to work, made me vomit, and unable to function. We had a parent-teacher conference day this week, which meant no students at work. I felt so light getting up and at work, and actually got to leave my building for lunch. I had energy after work. It reminded me that this is an abnormal situation. A job is work, and so it’s not always going to be fun or enjoyable. But this is different.
Idk. I’m just trying to process it all.